Hmmm... I'm eating dinner (citrus lime pork chops and asparagus - YUM!), at 9:15pm on a Tuesday night. I'm telling you, it's an exciting life I lead. :) Tonight was, in Logan's words, AWESOME! He was so much fun. I'm not implying that he's not fun all the time, but tonight was different... or maybe I was different. I love his zest for life, his quirky little behaviors, and it always amazes me how smart he is and how fast he catches on to things. Exhibit A - I taught him to say "I'm awesome!" tonight and within 1 hour he was using it in the correct way and with the proper exclamation in his tone. Exhibit B - I held up a piece of asparagus for him to take a bite and he said "spargus, yum"! You might be saying to yourself, "geez, that's nothing", but to me, it's everything. It reminds me that I'm not failing, that I am teaching him, that he listens and learns. It is so easy to get discouraged... to fear - "How is the divorce going to affect him?"; "How can I lessen the pain, confusion, and sense of loss that he's sure to feel at some point in his life?" Even though I've heard over and over, "it's better that you separated when he was so young, that way he won't know the difference." But he will know the difference and although I'm sure those words are uttered with good intentions, just as "I'm sorry for your loss, I know how you feel" are thrown out at a funeral, they do nothing to ease the burgeoning fear of what is to come and how I can best explain our situation without it affecting him in a negative way. But it's moments like the ones that took place tonight... when we're wrestling on the couch, when he yells "I yuuuuuvvvv youuuuuu!", when he repeats a new word, when I can almost see his mind working as he absorbs every part of his surroundings, when he giggles at the simplest things, when he plays my monkey and latches on to my torso so tight that I never want him to let go... yes, it's moments like these that remind me how special, how strong, how smart, how loving and sweet this little 22 month old boy is and how blessed I am to be his mother.
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